Some guys said some bad stuff. It was really bad stuff. They said things and it was bad. Some if it was racist and because of that we’re going to make this story just devoid of any real context so that you’re mystified by what happened. We can tell you the gist of it in the headline but expect no more information in this article. That would be cheating. See, we have too much journalistic integrity to even reveal any information that could lead to you guessing how we know something or who we found out from, so we rather just make you hate everyone in the comics industry, instead.
Why? Because if we give you the full story it will give too much away. In other words, we’ll have to do work and things like research, fact verification, quoting. We rather just put up some pictures of stuff in between the text and not let you know any details at all about what we heard, who said it, how many people said it and why we decided to post this news.
I mean, the whole concept of what we have to tell you is completely believable, but why service the industry with news at all when we can just rake in all these clicks. Mystery breeds clicks and we need all that delicious ad traffic! Don’t you know that we can’t keep this site up for free? We need income to make this stuff work! Besides, look at how openly racist people have become. Do we even have to provide factual basis for you to believe that this sort of thing could happen? No, right? Why bother! I mean we’re Pop Friggin’ Schmear! You trust us! You know who we are!
Oh, and just in case you were wondering, we’re not going to let you play 20 questions with us. You could send us messages directly, tag us on Facebook, etc. We’re still not going to tell you what happened. We just want you to share this link and hopefully rack up like 90 comments from mostly idiotic people supporting the notion that maybe the racist people aren’t that racist. Well, guess what. They are racist. That’s not a debate here. The question is why we would publish something with no information and instead do more damage than good. I mean, we could say something like, “a handful of racist people said this thing” instead of “people said this racist thing” and it would at least let you know what scale the problem really is.
That, however, is silly thinking. It makes people stop feeling like the sky is falling and is a little too comforting. We don’t want that. We want you to squirm, panic, share and comment and tell us how stupid the people were and then have you argue with people that agree with them. We want everyone to be all defensive and then share this more and have more arguments on Facebook, Twitter and in our comments section. Have you commented yet? You should totally comment.