Mumble Rappers Commit Mass Suicide After Hearing New A Tribe Called Quest Album

A Tribe Called Quest just released their first new album since 1998 and already it has sent a shockwave through the hip-hop community. Upon hearing “We Got It from Here… Thank You 4 Your Service,” even the most casual of hip-hop fans have been hit with a wave of emotions. From nostalgia, to glee and sadness, the album stirs up all these feelings inside that you might have forgotten that hip-hop can make you feel.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on your tastes, it has caused many mumble rappers to realize that they are just pure trash and take themselves out. Whether doing it solo or in groups, many mumble rappers have been committing suicide, leaving notes behind that say things like, “I dun wunna live. I couldna live. Ermm nud gonna live… Nahh wuhh won’t live.” As they mumble, incoherently, rhyming the same word with itself, the new Tribe album is a breath of fresh air that makes us wonder how we even got here. The most common method of suicide seems to be overdosing on cough syrup.

So far the list of mumble rappers that have been lost to this phenomenon are as follows:

Scooby Dump
Double XL Medium
Beef Chief
Question!
Zorp#64
ATM Breakfast
Dino Vino
See You Next Tuesday
Old Kid Little Big
Ditamin V
Pookie X
Hand Foot
N M AH
Prada Boy
Purse Jacket
Skippy P
Fatty Lean